Sleepless Nights
by S.A. Thorup
Summary: After a successful entry exam, Twilight Sparkle has entered the School for Gifted Unicorns, but not only that-she is Celestia's protege! She dives into her studies, but begins to find being the student of the Princess more stressful than she thought, and must come to a disheartening decision that may make or break her relationship with her mentor.


Celestia gazed at her diagrams and circled the symbols in the bottom right of the chalk board, the chalk floating in her aura.

"...and that is the difference between mechanical and natural magic responses," she finished, turning and looking at the small lavender unicorn. Twilight Sparkle sat in a single study desk before Celestia's own desk, staring blankly at the chalkboard. Celestia cocked her head, her multi-hued mane wavering, and her brows furrowed in concern. "I...presume you studied chapters one through three yestereve?"

Twilight shook her head, coming out of her stupor, and then nodded with tight lips. The Princess lifted her chin, perceiving that Twilight was telling the truth, but something else seemed...the bell rang in the school for Gifted Unicorns. Twilight shuffled her books and papers together and used her aura to tuck them into her saddlebags.

"For tomorrow, read chapter four of Magic Mechanics, and chapters one through two of Mysteries in Maredom," Celestia said. She walked around her desk as Twilight quietly made her way to the door. The alicorn held out a wing, halting Twilight, and she looked down upon the filly. Twilight tried to meet Celestia's eyes, and Celestia noted not for the first time that day the bags under Twilight's eyes.

"Twilight, I've been concerned about your recent grades," Celestia spoke. "It's only been two weeks since we've started your studies, of course, but already your scores have been lower than I anticipated...what is wrong, my little pony?"

"I'll...it's nothing, Princess," she squeaked. She smiled. "I'll try harder, and study harder than ever before! I promise!"

Celestia also smiled and folded her wing back.

"Just don't overdo it," she murmured as Twilight marched with a high head into the hallway, joining the flowing mass of other unicorn students.

Celestia kept staring at the entryway, worries teasing at her heart. Though Celestia was tempted to doubt her student's sincerity and reconsider herself as her mentor, she could not forget the powerful magic that had buoyed Twilight in the testing room, had levitated the test overseers, had transformed her parents, and had turned a newly born dragon into an adult. It had been a revelation of power that needed to be kept under control, and a gateway for Celestia to redeem herself from past mistakes with another student.

Celestia took a deep, calming breath. She could only wait for what tomorrow would bring for little Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight made her way up the stairs of the tower, the wind flowing through her short, dusk-colored mane and tail. The sun was near the horizon, and soon Celestia would finish lowering it and raise the moon. She stopped at the door on the tower's top level and gazed at the fiery orb before heaving out a sigh.

"Harder than ever," she muttered, lowering her head as she keyed the door with her horn's aura and pushed the sturdy wood and stone piece inward.

When Twilight had first arrived at her personal chambers, granted by the Princess herself, she had been delighted. The bed was _huge_, there were lots of shelves with books, and a big old desk under the eastern window where she could dump all of her studies and bury herself in the ways of magic. It was quiet, and big, with a bulbous ceiling that marked the top of the spire. She could act out plays from her books, had lots of room to play Princess of Twilightland with her toysets she had found in a cupboard...she had loved it.

_Had_ loved it.

It had only been a few days, and the room now bothered her. It wasn't the quiet––she loved quiet for reading and study––but she was so used to being around her family, that the chamber brought an unnatural emptiness into her environment. Twilight had thought about inviting Shining Armor up to the chamber, or her parents, but they were on the other side of Canterlot, and no one had time for visits. Work and school, work and school.

Twilight heaved out another sigh and placed her bags on the desk for three hours of magic study. As she opened the books, she found herself grateful for Celestia's mentorship. Who _wouldn't_ want to be taught by the greatest and kindest and most beautiful pony in existence?

Even as she read and practiced the magic exercises on Smartypants and other toys and objects, another part of her mind cringed at being so far away from family. It made her anxious, and not for the first time. The anxiety made her tremble a bit, made her restless. She did her assignments shakily at best, and was not sure if she had done everything correctly, but she simply could not concentrate enough to double-check. She finished her homework as the moon reached halfway between the horizon and zenith, and Twilight squirmed underneath the bed covers and squeezed her eyes shut.

Wind moaned against the spire. The air rang with a strange hollowness. It was as if all life had disappeared and left Twilight alone in the night.

"Sleep, sleep, rest your little head..." she began to sing to herself. It was her mother's lullaby. "Go off to dream land, prance about and you'll be fine..."

Her voice trailed off, and she was still alone in the stillness. Twilight groaned, not looking forward to another sleepless night. She remembered with a sudden horror that Celestia suspected Twilight had a problem, but Twilight couldn't possibly reveal such a weakness to Celestia. Celestia expected Twilight to be a star student, to be perfect. Twilight's anxiety grew until she was shaking under the warm covers.

She thought about how messy her desk was, what toys and experiments she had left about. Celestia couldn't see those if she just happened to check in on Twilight's room during the day! Twilight hopped out of bed, hooves thumping against the soft carpet. She busied herself stacking her books and papers neatly. She lined up her two ink wells and her four quills, all next to each other on top of the desk. She used her aura to put Smartypants, dolls, castle walls, and craft papers into their drawers, and prided herself on how much she could lift already with her magic. The satisfaction vanished as she checked the other shelves and the window sills, making sure everything was in place, and Twilight finished by sitting wearily in the center of the round chamber.

Her head hung, and she closed her eyes lest she find another imperfection in the room. However, if there was...she ground her teeth. What if she never lived up to Celestia's expectations? She was already failing. Not enough sleep made her go through poor motions on her assignments. Would this loneliness and anxiety never end?

Twilight looked out the window and saw by moonlight that at least two hours had passed since her pathetic attempt to sleep. Her mane and tail were tangled messes, and her coat had lines of sweat foam from her constant movement. She smelled. The filly buried her head and had a cry, even while her reasoning came to an awful conclusion.

She had to tell Celestia that she couldn't be her student. She was wasting Celestia's time. Surely the Princess of the sun had more important things to do than spend time with a unicorn who couldn't even keep her room straight most the time. Twilight rose onto her hooves, shaking her head and letting a few more tears fly away into the dark. She had to go now, otherwise she would not have peace of mind until morning.

She stepped carefully down the spiraling steps of the tower, shivering against the wind that cooled her sweat. She may as well have been wearing a blanket of ice. She quickly passed through the courtyard and came up the steps of the main keep, where she was confronted with two pegasi guards, who crossed their spears in front of her.

"I...I just want to see the Princess," she said. They eyed her with cold golden eyes. "I'm––I'm Twilight Sparkle, her student."

They both murmured relief, and one pushed the door open for her. The gloom of the entry hall swallowed Twilight, and they shut the door. Twilight glanced around. Moonlight slanted through stain-glass windows, cutting through some of the shadows. A broad sweep of stairs was before her, with a door on either side of the first floor.

She trembled and made her way up the stairs, ears swiveling constantly. She jumped at a sharp _crack _when she reached the top, and then realized it had only been the clack of her hoof on hard marble. She turned left and pressed into the eastern wing.

Celestia had once showed Twilight her personal study, in case Twilight had to come to her for emergency or for a friendly visit. Twilight hoped showing up in the middle of the night counted as a "friendly visit," and also hoped that Celestia would be there and not in her chamber asleep.

Twilight's anxious heart jumped when she saw two unicorn guards standing to either side of a door with a gentle glow under its edge. Both guards turned their heads and saw the lavender-hued shadow stepping slowly towards them, and they used their auras to point their spears at Twilight.

"Who goes there?" the nearest one demanded. She stopped, knees knocking. She would not be surprised if she fell over when she tried to speak.

"It's m-m-me, Twilight Sparkle," she managed to rasp. They pulled away their weapons, and Twilight found the strength to approach them. They tilted their heads down to regard her, their slate-gray coats almost black in dark night. "M-m-may I see the P-p-princess?

"

"I will consult," the guard on the right said. He pushed the door open slightly with his aura and whispered to the room's occupant. Twilight heard a familiar, sweet voice reply, and he nodded to Twilight with a small smile.

She laid back her ears in chagrin as she entered the warm chamber. Like Twilight's room it was round, but smaller. There was a fire-lit hearth and a desk, and some shelves with books. At the center was a large soft pillow with a comforter, upon which Celestia herself reclined. Before Celestia sat some books and papers, one partly covered in scrawl with a resting quill. Twilight looked at the door as the guard shut it, and then guiltily brought her gaze back to Celestia, whose sparkling pink eyes observed Twilight.

"Twilight, though I'm delighted to get a visit, I had not expected it to be so late at night," Celestia said with a simper. Twilight shrugged, and Celestia's smile turned into a frown. Twilight shivered miserably, and she bowed her head.

"I couldn't sleep," she mumbled. "I can't sleep at all."

"Come, lay at my side," Celestia said softly, lifting a wing from her flank. Twilight hesitated, wondering if it was her place to come so close to Celestia. However, she stepped unsteadily on the pillow and laid against Celestia's flank, and she didn't regret it. Celestia's body radiated sun-like warmth, and the wing that wrapped over her was like a blanket. Twilight's shivering began to fade away, and her eyes grew heavier than ever. "My faithful student, what troubles you?"

Twilight clenched her jaw. The only other times she could not find the right words was when her parents reprimanded her.

"I...I can't concentrate," she finally explained to Celestia. "I can't sleep, so I can't think straight. I try so hard...I'm sorry I lied to you. I can't sleep. That's what's bothering me."

Twilight felt the rise and fall of Celestia's side as the Princess thought for half a moment. Twilight felt tears ready to burst from her eyes, and she couldn't understand why she was so frustrated; she had spent countless days and nights working on spells before she came to the school for Gifted Unicorns, and had never grown this frustrated over even those.

"Why can you not sleep?" Celestia finally asked.

The tears finally poured from Twilight's eyes, and she wished she could pull Celestia's wing over her face.

"No one is there for me anymore," Twilight sobbed. "I-I-I used to have m-m-mom and dad there, and Shining Armor. It's too quiet. I feel l-l-like I'm stuck in a cave...then...then..." Twilight shoved her snout under her hooves. "I'm a failure. I'll never be perfect. I'm not perfect, and I'm failing your class."

Twilight was so flustered and embarrassed and miserable she didn't even care anymore. She let herself cry, even though she was terrified to get Celestia's pillow wet. She felt a soft muzzle press between her ears, and her sobbing soothed abruptly when instinctive assurance flowed from the touch.

"You are a _wonderful_ student, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia whispered. "I am honored to have you as my student. You work so hard, harder than I ever expected...but I just want to make sure you're happy and healthy too. I didn't know being away from family bothered you."

Twilight nodded a little, and Celestia pulled her lips away. Twilight looked up at the beautiful white mare, her own mouth trembling.

"Though you're away from family," Celestia went on, "I am here if you need someone to listen, and I will never stop calling you wonderful, because you are. You don't have to be perfect for me to see that. I see potential in you, Twilight. Will you help me bring it out?"

"Y-yes, Princess," Twilight said. Relief flooded her fatigue-wracked body, and she felt her eyes closing without her wanting. Celestia lifted her head.

"I hereby decree that Twilight Sparkle shall remain my student until she has completed her studies, no matter the hardships she will face, and no matter who tries to say or do otherwise," Celestia announced. Twilight smiled, thrilled to hear the Princess make an official announcement. Whenever Celestia decreed, no one argued with her. Twilight sighed and laid her head down against the pillow, off to dream land. Celestia eyed her with a smile and closed her eyes.

"I will _always_ be here for you, Twilight Sparkle," she whispered. Little did Celestia know that the tender statement filtered into the filly's dreams as Twilight walked side-by-side with a powerful white alicorn into the sunrise, both laughing at the budding friendship in their hearts.


End file.
